Hidden Truths
by AngelJester
Summary: AU: The nightshift learns that there is more to Greg than they thought when a part of his past is discovered.
1. Past

I don't own any of these characters. This show is owned by people other than me though I do love the show.

A/N-this story deals with child abuse, rape and possibly other issues that are not appropriate for young readers. If you do not like this type of story then be advised that this story is not for you.

Hidden Truths

Everyone knows that you need food and water to survive, without these you would either starve or dehydrate. What is also important, though not considered needed to survive, is the need for love. Some people live their entire lives knowing what it is like to be loved simply for being but then there are others who have never been loved or cared for. I fall into that last category.

Both my parents are dead. My mom overdosed when I was five and my father was shot by a cop while he was trying to do a drug deal. Yes both my parents where involved with drugs, that is one of the only things I remember about them. Neither paid me any attention when I was young so once they were dead I didn't really miss them, at least not until I was taken to the orphanage. By the time I was fourteen I had already been through 47 different homes and none of the families cared for me, hell the only reason I was there was so they could get another government check. I was abused severely in all but four of those homes and I have the scars and nightmares to prove it. At the other four homes I had to fend for myself, I practically lived off the streets and out of my backpack. When I turned 14 I had finally decided that enough was enough, I was tired of getting new scars every week and I had nothing to lose, not my pride since several of my foster parents had already stolen that along with my virginity and I had no relations to hold me back so I did the only thing that made sense, I left.

I ran away from my foster home and lived on the streets while going to school and working at various jobs. I crashed in a different place nearly every night and at times had to dig through the dumpster that was near the McDonald's. It's kind of ironic, I think I've eaten everything off of their menu but I have never stepped foot inside one or actually ordered anything. I learned really quick where to avoid and what type of people to avoid, unfortunately the quick lesson was due to some attacks that led to more scars and nightmares. By the time I turned 16 I could hold my own in a fight with a guy that was more than twice my size, I knew how to steal what I needed and couldn't find in the dumpsters and I learned how to avoid the cops, figuring they would just send me back to another home. I lived like this until I graduated high school and no one ever noticed. I guess the social workers either got tired of trying to find a place for me or figured that I was still with the Johnston family, either way I never heard from any of them again.

Throughout school I was always to busy working and studying so I never got close to anyone, which was fine by me since most the people were spoiled and immature. It never occurred to me that that was normal teenage behavior. The day I found out I had gotten into Stanford with a full scholarship was the happiest day of my life. When I got there I was happy that everyone ignored me and my apparently weird behavior. It wasn't my fault that I took every chance to get a laugh and listen to music, after living a rough life you learned to appreciate the simple things. I finished college faster than anyone expected and had my degree by the time I was 21. Once I was finished with college I moved to the brightest city in the world where I got a job as a lab technician at a crime lab.

Man, the day I went in for my interview was great. I had just gotten my first real apartment which was fully furnished and I can happily say that I still live there. When I went to the crime lab for my interview the boss had lost his tarantella. Everyone was freaking out and didn't pay me any attention until I found the thing under a desk and picked it up since one of the techs was about to squash it. For some reason people thought I was brave for messing with the spider and the boss seemed especially impressed when I walked into his office holding the spider in one hand and shaking his hand with the other. Guess growing up around rats and roaches really helps people get past any fears they may have of bugs.

The rest of the interview went smoothly and nothing in my past came up so I didn't have to go into dreary details. I started the next day and the lab hasn't been quiet since. My CD player is always on and I just have fun as I work. Most people seem to think I'm crazy or some kind of drug addict but what can I say, I've never actually been taught how I am suppose to behave so I just do what I want. I think they let my weird behavior slide since I am the best, and that is the truth. I can get the work done in half the time as everyone else and my work is always thorough.

I have now been working there for three years and I have gotten close to the nightshift. They may actually be the closest thing to friends I have ever had but I know that it is impossible for me to be close with any of them since that would require me telling them things about me that they don't need to know. I have successfully hidden all traces of my past from them and I think that they all just settled into the belief that I grew up with an overprotective mother and was a complete dork. They all think that this is the first time I've actually had to work and that my life has been picture perfect. Funny how these people can catch a murder by finding a hair but they can't figure out the person they see every night. I guess me dancing around my lab while blaring music to deafening levels and always being happy really throws them off. Not that it actually matters of course since it's easier to let them think what they want. Maybe they'll figure it out but until they do I'm going to enjoy my role as the care free lab rat with crazy hair and loud music.


	2. Panic

Hidden Truths

I don't own any of these characters. This show is owned by people other than me though I do love the show.

A/N-this story deals with child abuse, rape and possibly other issues that are not appropriate for young readers. If you do not like this type of story then be advised that this story is not for you.

A/N: The story is now going to be from everyone's perspective and not just Greg's. This way there will be a better understanding of how all the characters are feeling, thinking, etc. Also, since Greg and the other's work the nightshift it only made since that they were use to sleeping in the day so keep that in mind.

Chapter 2

Panic

'I hate this. It's been years, I should be over this by now,' Greg thought bitterly as he tried to still his violent shaking. He had just woken up from another nightmare and he was scared to notice that his physical reaction to waking up from the nightmares was getting more serious.

His sleep had be plagued with his memories his entire life. Originally it was of his parents' deaths, especially his mother's since he had witnessed her die. But over the years everything seemed to be resurrected whenever he closed his eyes. Every night he either had to watch his parents die, re-endure the beatings, feel the shame of being raped, or just remember what it was like to wake up only to find rats chewing on him. And every time Greg woke up he felt like he was loosing more and more control over himself. He had recently started to wake up drenched in sweat, nearly hyperventilating, and shaking uncontrollably and that scared him nearly as much as his nightmare. He felt as if he was slowly going insane.

Today it had been the rats. That memory still scared the hell out of him. When he had been sixteen he had fallen asleep in an old abandoned house since the weather was terrible and he didn't think he could survive sleeping in the alleyway like he had the night before. He hadn't ever considered what else had taken shelter in the house. He had woken up a few hours later because of the pain in his arms, apparently the rats had been hungry enough to dismiss the idea that he was a threat since he had found over twenty chewing on his extremities. It had taken him nearly half an hour to get all the rats to leave him alone but whenever he started to hold still the rats would come back. By the time the storm had calmed enough for him to leave he had killed most of the rats but to this day he hated the critters.

Greg looked at his exposed arms as the memory flashed through his mind and his trimmers finally began to slow. He could still see the small scars that were intertwined with his other scars.

'Stupid rodents,' Greg thought angrily as he looked away from the scars. His body was covered in scars of all sorts; various types of burns, entangled cuts, animal bites, even whip marks marred his back. The only places that held no obvious scars were his hands and face. That was something Greg was thankful for everyday since he could cover all the others. No one seemed to notice that he only wore long sleeved shirts despite the weather or that he was very meticulous when it came to keeping himself covered.

"Looks like another long night," Greg sighed as he rolled out of bed. He knew that it would be pointless to try and get more sleep after the nightmare since he had learned from experience that if he woke up like he had then laying back down would mean that he would toss and turn until his alarm clock went off and that would only result in him going to work in a bad mood.

'At least it's only a couple hours earlier than I was planning to get up any ways. Maybe I can see if Nick is busy. He never sleeps too late,' Greg thought hopefully wanting the distraction. Of all the people on the nightshift he had grown closest to Nick though every CSI held a special place for him. There were jokes going around the lab about how the group acted together. The most common idea was that the group was a surrogated family.

Grissom and Catherine played the roles of the parents. Both were protective of the group and would do anything for any of their 'children.' Warrick and Nick were the over protective brothers that stood by their parents and siblings through thick and thin. Brass was the logical uncle who watched over the family but never got too involved unless it was completely necessary. Sarah and Greg, however, were the kickers in the family idea. Since Greg was always flirting with Sara it kind of blew the thought of them being brother and sister especially since everyone knew that Sarah cared for him too though she refused to admit it. Sara still played the part of the beloved yet misunderstood daughter and sister and Greg was very good at the role of the annoying baby brother of the family.

Greg was never to comfortably with the idea of being mixed into the family scenario but he had to admit that he was _very_ attracted to Sara though he never thought it would go beyond him flirting which was fine by him. He knew that his scars would scare her off. In his mind he was no better than an old, dirty piece of trash that needed to be thrown out. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make himself quit flirting with Sara, it was the only way he knew that he could let her know he cared for her but at the same time he made sure the way he flirted with her was enough to discourage her from wanting to pursue a relationship with him.

Pushing away his depressing thoughts of relationships and family Greg picked up the phone and with a finally still hand, dialed Nick's number from memory. After five rings Greg finally hung up figuring Nick was actually sleeping in for once.

'Or he is avoiding me,' Greg thought sadly as he looked longingly at the phone. 'He probably does get tired of me always being around,' he silently concluded as he slowly went through his daily ritual of getting ready for work but he still finished with more than an hour wait until work started. 'God I need a social life. Guess I'll just go in early again,' Greg decided as he grabbed his keys and nearly ran to his car. He really hated sitting around idly and the other technicians had quickly learned that he would sometimes come in early for his shift and by early I mean more than an hour before he had to be there.

"Hey Greggo I didn't see you come in," Nick greeted happily as he came into Greg's lab and turned down the music to a tolerable level.

"I got here early," Greg said distractedly as he looked through his microscope.

"Better be careful, if you keep this up you're going to work yourself to death," Nick joked but Greg ignored him. "Everything ok there," he asked worriedly. It wasn't like Greg to be so focused when he had a chance to entertain someone.

"Peachy," Greg said automatically as he continued to work on the samples. The truth was he was anything but 'peachy.' This case was really getting to him. It was all he could do not to get up and tear up his lab but luckily he had learned to control his infamous Sanders' temper years ago. At the moment he was looking at samples that could possibly prove who was responsible for the rape and murder of a homeless boy. That really struck home for Greg since he couldn't understand why he had survived when this boy hadn't.

"Sure you are," Nick said sarcastically though the concern in his voice was obvious. "Seriously man, what's up?"

"Nothing so fuck off," Greg snapped still too distracted to put much thought into what he was saying. The only thing that was going through his mind was 'why not me?'

Nick was too stunned to speak at first but his temper quickly filled in for his shock. "What the hell has gotten into you," Nick yelled angrily, successfully getting Greg's full attention for the first time since he had entered the lab. "Don't you go telling me to go fuck off?!"

Now it was Greg's turn to be to stunned to speak but unfortunately for him the shock, mixed with the still to recent nightmare that kept replaying in his mind and his strong feeling for the case, did more than distract him from any type of response, but it also caused him to flashback to some of his more vicious beatings and attacks causing Greg to freeze instantly and tense up while he waited for the attack that his mind was telling him was inevitable. 'Oh god oh god,' Greg repeated mentally as his flashbacks took over his entire consciousness and he started to gasp for air.

"Greg," Nick asked worriedly as he saw his friend tense suddenly then seemingly zone out as he paled and started to hyperventilate. "Greg," he repeated as he stepped closer and gently put his hand on the lab tech's shoulder in an attempt to bring him back to reality. He wasn't expecting Greg's reaction.

Greg had been so absorbed in his memories that when he felt a hand touch his shoulder his mind snapped. Memories flooded his mind and his breathing turned to desperate gasps for air as he started to mumble 'no no no' over and over again as he started to shake uncontrollably. He was shaking so violently that he fell out of his chair and it was all Nick could do to catch his friend so that he wouldn't hurt himself. However the action only made Greg panic more as he lost all concepts of reality and he abruptly started to fight weakly against Nick's grip but in his fright and worry Nick refused to release his friend as he called out for help.

Nick was panicking as Sara, Warrick, and Grissom came rushing into the lab, all quickly knelt beside the two on the floor as Warrick pulled out his phone and called 911.

"What's going on," Grissom demanded as he watched the young technician thrash in Nick's arms.

"I don't know," Nick said loudly, the worry and fear dripping from his words.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't know, I yelled at him for telling me to fuck off and the next thing I know he starts to hyperventilate," Nick exclaimed as Greg's thrashing got worse as their conversation continued, something Sara noticed.

"You two shut up, neither of you are helping," Sara scolded the two as she quickly maneuvered Greg so that she was holding him. She quickly started to smooth his hair back comfortingly as she started to quietly reassure him that everything was ok. To everyone's surprise Greg slowly started to relax into Sarah's embrace though he was still shaking terribly and his breathing was still hitched.

"The ambulance is on its way," Warrick informed the others as he looked worriedly at his youngest friend. "What's wrong with him?"

"I think he is having some kind of panic attack," Grissom observed as he watched Greg continue to calm under Sara's touch.

"Why," Sara asked as she fought the tears in her eyes. She hated seeing people so weak especially if it was a person that she cared so much for. Though she wouldn't admit it Greg had wormed his way into her heart over the years and she was almost certain that she was falling in love with his smile.

"I don't know," Grissom answered disturbed as he and the others ignored the small crowd forming at the door.

The group only had to what a few minutes, though it felt like an eternity to them, before the paramedics entered the lab and promptly loaded Greg on the gurney and put an oxygen mask over his bluing lips. To the paramedics distress, when Greg was released from Sara's grasp his hysterics seemed to start anew until she quickly retook his hand.

Grissom was amazed at how calming Greg found Sara's presence. 'If Catherine was here she would probably be saying that it had something to do with how much he loves her,' Grissom thought as he watched the paramedics, Greg, and Sara leave the lab.

"Do you think he is going to be ok," Nick asked as he too watched the group leave.

"I hope so," Grissom said worriedly as the trio set off to find Catherine so they could follow their friends to the hospital.


	3. Friends

I don't own any of these characters. This show is owned by people other than me though I do love the show.

A/N-this story deals with child abuse, rape and possibly other issues that are not appropriate for young readers. If you do not like this type of story then be advised that this story is not for you.

A/N: The story is now going to be from everyone's perspective and not just Greg's. This way there will be a better understanding of how all the characters are feeling, thinking, etc. Also, since Greg and the other's work the nightshift it only made since that they were use to sleeping in the day so keep that in mind.

Hidden Truths

Friends

Greg sat looking anxiously around him as he sat on the hospital bed while wearing an oxygen mask. 'Well this is embarrassing,' Greg thought bitterly as he remembered how Sara was babying him from the moment he became aware of his surroundings to the point where the doctor had made her wait in the hall. Once Sara was gone the doctor had started asking him questions he did not want to answer, like what had caused him to panic in the first place and how he had gotten his scars, that to Greg's dismay, the doctor had seen while checking his vitals. The doctor eventually got the hint that Greg didn't want to talk about it and had left him alone suggesting that he go see a therapist and ordering him to stay in bed until he said otherwise.

He had already been sitting in the room for thirty minutes and he was pleased to note that his hands were the only things still trembling and his breathing was coming easier. But due to Greg's naturally busy nature his anxiousness was quickly turning to boredom as he continued to watch the door expectantly as he tried to think of an excuse to tell the others.

'I could say it was stress. That should work. Everyone knows how much of a workaholic I am but then they're going to ask what caused me to have a breakdown when I did. I can't really tell them that between nightmares and flashbacks that I really can't be yelled at without freaking out. They don't need to know about those so what do I say?'

"Feeling better Mr. Sanders," the doctor asked as he stepped into the room.

"Yep, can I go now," Greg nearly begged through the mask as the doctor rechecked his vitals.

"Everything seems to be fine so I think it is ok for you to go on home, not work. I believe your friends are in the hall waiting for you," the doctor said once he was finished.

"My friends," Greg asked confused as he removed the mask.

"I believe they are from your work. Don't worry I haven't told them anything other than that you were going to be fine." Greg knew the doctor was referring to the scars as he quickly thanked the doctor and headed for the door. "Oh Mr. Sanders," the doctor called after him before he opened the door, "I really think that you should talk to someone about what happened."

"There's nothing to talk about," Greg said dryly as he opened the door and stepped into the hall. A moment later he found himself the center of attention as the five CSIs, who were all looking at him as though he were about to break, approached him. "Err hi," Greg said dumbly with a small wave. 'Never would have thought all of them would come and check on me,' Greg thought surprised.

"Are you ok," Catherine asked anxiously.

"The doctor said I was fine," Greg said with a small smile as he stuffed his still trembling hands into his pockets casually.

"What happened man," Warrick asked.

"A mixture of stress and sleep deprivation," Greg half lied. In his mind it was close enough to the truth since the memories ruined his sleep and caused him a lot of stress.

"Stress and sleep deprivation," Grissom repeated unconvinced.

"Yep, I guess I've been working to many double-shifts and partying too much," Greg lied smoothly. 'Should have known Grissom would be the hardest to convince,' he internally grumbled.

"Nothing else," Grissom prodded.

"Hey I'm just telling you what the doctor said," Greg said defensively as he stepped back from the group subconsciously.

"I guess you could really use a nice vacation," Sara said attempting to get Grissom to back off. She didn't know if Greg was lying or not but she knew enough that now was not the time.

"Nah, they're too stressful," Greg joked as he plastered on his goofy smile.

"You are definitely going on a vacation," Nick said as he shook his head.

"And why is that," Greg asked still smiling.

"Do you know how much you scared me, us," Nick asked forcefully as he remembered Greg lying in Sara's arms.

"I..," Greg started as his smile was replaced with an apologetic expression as he looked at the floor. 'I didn't think it would bother anyone so much,' Greg finished silently.

"Why don't you take some time off and just relax," Catherine suggested gently as she stepped forward and gave him a small hug. "You really did scare us," she said quietly before letting him go.

"Sorry," he whispered, still avoiding their gazes.

"We should probably get out of here," Warrick said trying to distract the group from the situation. "Shift should be over soon so why don't we all go out for some breakfast."

"Sounds like a plan," Sara agreed with a smile as everyone but Greg nodded in agreement. "Are you coming," she asked Greg noticing his silence.

"I guess," he answered hesitantly. It was the least he could do after scaring them so much.

"Great," she said as her smile grew. "The normal café," she suggested.

"Of course," Nick said with a smile. "They have the best omelets in town."

"Can I hitch a ride with someone," Greg asked warily.

"You can ride with me," Grissom said before anyone else could say anything.

"Thanks," Greg said as he internally panicked at the idea of being left alone with Grissom. 'Maybe Sara will ride with us,' he thought hopefully.

"Sara why don't you ride with Catherine and the others," Grissom said as the group headed for the parking lot.

'Or not,' Greg mentally gulped.

"Err are you sure Gris," Catherine asked as she noticed Greg's fearful look, she knew what Grissom was planning.

"Greg and I need to talk," Grissom answered simply. "We'll meet you guys at the café," he finished as he got into the Tahoe. Greg quickly did the same, being careful to keep his hands out of view.

They drove in silence for a few minutes before Grissom finally broke the silence.

"What really happened," he asked bluntly.

"Just what I told you, lack of sleep and stress," Greg lied nervously.

"Greg, you and I both know that what happened earlier was not stress," Grissom said as he sent a look to Greg.

"You never know," Greg continued to try and convince Grissom.

"If I had to guess I'd say that you had a panic attack," Grissom said. He couldn't contain his smirk as he noticed Greg stiffen. 'Bingo,' he thought proudly.

"Panic attack," Greg repeated trying to sound surprised by the suggestion.

"Yes a panic attack. All I want to know is why."

"And if it will effect my work," Greg said bitterly as he looked longingly out the window.

"No, I just want to know why it happened so we can make sure it doesn't happen again," Grissom said calmly though he was hurt, but not surprised, with Greg's words.

"Oh," Greg said simply looking sorry for what he had said but he didn't offer any further information.

"What happened," Grissom asked again.

"It doesn't matter," Greg said trying to brush the incident aside.

"You had to go to the hospital Greg. That does matter."

"It won't happen again," Greg promised desperately.

"Can you guarantee that," Grissom asked hoping Greg would confide in him. He knew there was more to Greg than what people thought and now he was sure that there was something that was seriously bothering the young man.

Greg went silent at Grissom's question. He knew he couldn't guarantee that he would never have a panic attack again.

"Greg, you can tell me whatever it is. I promise what you tell me will stay between the two of us," Grissom asked desperately.

"I can't," Greg quietly conceded. "At least not right now," he finished hoping it would appease the man.

"Why not," Grissom asked worriedly.

"There is too much to tell and I honestly came to Vegas to get away from my past. If I tell you, everything will change," Greg explained sadly.

"Just know that if you ever need to talk or if you decide you're ready to tell me what happened, that my door is always open," Grissom offered.

"Thanks," Greg said gratefully with a smile. "You don't know how much that means to me," he finished before he turned his attention back to the passing scenery.

Grissom looked over to the distracted young man somehow knowing that Greg really had needed to know that someone was there for him. 'Don't worry Greggo, we'll get pass whatever you're trying to keep buried,' Grissom silently promised.

The pair finished the drive in silence, feeling at ease with each other though Grissom was slightly surprised at how quiet Greg was. He figured it was probably due to Greg's still frayed nerves.

"Looks like we beat the others," Grissom said once again breaking the silence. 'Twice in one car ride, that must be a new record,' Grissom joked silently.

"Not by much," Greg noted as the others pulled in not to much later. Greg sent Grissom a nervous look, "You're not going to tell them are you?"

"No," Grissom assured him knowing he was referring to the panic attack.

Greg just smiled as he got out of the car and headed over to the group. Grissom was surprised at how well Greg switched modes as he went from quiet, serious, and timid to loud, rambunctious, and seemingly carefree. 'Maybe he'll tell me how he does that one day,' Grissom thought as he slowly approached the group. 'That trick would get Catherine off my back about me being too serious.'

"I guess that went well," Catherine said quietly as she fell into step beside him as they followed the others.

"Better than I expected," Grissom said simply.

"What did you find out," Catherine asked curious.

"Nothing," Grissom said as he held back a smile at her shocked expression.

"So how is that better than expected," she asked as she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I let him know that he could talk to me whenever he needed."

"Well it seemed to have worked," she said as she watched Greg start to flirt casually with a passing waitress much to Sara's annoyance. "Just looking at him you never would guess that he just came from the hospital."

"You guys going to join us or are you two wanting a private table," Greg called back to them from where the group was now sitting.

"Tempting," Catherine joked back as she and Grissom sat down. "How long are you taking off for," she asked Greg once they had ordered their normal meals.

"Uh, how soon am I allowed back to work," Greg asked.

"You have to take at least three nights off," Grissom said. "But considering how you haven't used any of your vacation time you could easily take a month off and probably still have time left over."

"That isn't going to happen," Greg said quickly. "I'll be back at work after I've taken three nights off."

Nick coughed when he heard Greg's answer and everyone could hear the distinct 'workaholic' hidden in the cough.

"You have a problem with that," Greg joked as he pointed his spoon at the Texan.

"Considering I'm outnumbered, no," Nick said with a smile as Sara, Grissom, and Catherine all shot him glares knowing he was referring to them. Warrick was just laughing quietly as he watched the exchange as the workaholics bombarded the Texan with complaints of being referred to as workaholics. Considering their distraction he wasn't surprised when no one but him noticed how badly Greg's hands were shaking, he had first noticed when Greg had pointed the spoon. He discreetly leaned over to Greg, who had already shoved his hands under the table and was watching the exchange with interest.

"You ok man," Warrick quietly asked.

"What do you mean," Greg asked sounding confused though he never took his eyes off the four joking CSIs.

"Your hands are shaking pretty badly," Warrick explained quietly.

"Just nerves," Greg answered as he finally faced his friend. "Don't worry about it."

"You sure," Warrick asked concerned.

"I'm fine, just a little side effect of earlier," Greg whispered. "It'll probably stop by the time we leave."

"Well if it hasn't then I'm driving you home," Warrick said not wanting his friend to drive if he didn't have full control over his hands.

"Deal," Greg smiled as he turned away.

The rest of the meal went smoothly as the group continued to joke as they ate and to both Greg's and Warrick's relief Greg's hands stopped shaking.

"Guess I'll see you guys tonight," Sara said as she stood up. "You want a ride," she asked Greg who looked exhausted.

"That would be wonderful," Greg said as he stood up but to everyone's concern he had to grab on to the table when a wave of dizziness washed over him.

"You ok," Sara asked as she held one of his arms gently to help keep him upright.

"Just tired," Greg said as he straightened himself. "Guess I got up to fast," he smiled.

"If you say so," Catherine said from where she and the others were still sitting.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "I'll talk to you guys later," he finished as he and Sara left the café.

"You sure you're ok," Sara asked again as they loaded into her car which she had picked up from the lab earlier.

"I'm fine," he said again as he leaned back into the seat finding it surprisingly comfortable. "You can just drop me off at the lab so I can get my car," he yawned as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"I'm not going to let you drive when you're this tired. I'll come pick you up later so you can get it," Sara said leaving no room for argument.

"Um-kay," Greg said as he started to drift off, much to Sara's amusement. At least until she pulled up to his apartment.

"Time to wake up," she said.

"Do I have to," he argued tiredly.

"Come on I'll help you up," she said as she went around so she could help him out of the car.

"Don't need help," he said as he tried to walk in a straight line.

"Without me you'll either make everyone think you're drunk or you'll try to go in the wrong apartment," she said before a thought struck her. "Do you have your keys?"

"I got a spare," he said as they reached his door. Groggily he reached and pulled a key from the top of his doorframe and clumsily unlocked his door.

"I guess I'll see you later," he said as he turned back to her. "Unless of course you want to come in," he added.

"Maybe another time," she said as she turned to leave.

"Thanks for taking care of me today," he called after her.

"What are friends for," she said with a smile as she looked back at him and then resumed her walk to her car.

"Friends," Greg whispered to himself trying to figure out how he had gotten so close to the group as he closed his door and headed for bed. The moment his head hit the pillow he was asleep but even with his exhaustion his nightmares came quickly and prevented him from getting the rest he so desperately needed.


	4. Decisions

I don't own any of these characters. This show is owned by people other than me though I do love the show.

A/N-this story deals with child abuse, rape and possibly other issues that are not appropriate for young readers. If you do not like this type of story then be advised that this story is not for you.

Hidden Truths

Decisions

A/N: This chapter is going to be written like the first and then the chapters will change back after this one once again. Please excuse the change in styles.

I can't do this anymore. I haven't been to work in a week and its killing me. I had to take more time off because I can barely function anymore. I haven't been able to sleep more than two hours a night and that's when I'm lucky.

The nightmares keep waking me up and my reactions to them are getting worse. I wake up sweating profusely and now I have to keep a trash can near my bed since I'm puking all the time.

I've lost so much weigh that I'm starting to get scared. I haven't been this thin since I lived on the streets and I know if this keeps up then seeing my ribs won't be my biggest problem. And with my weight loss came a major loss in energy, which isn't really surprising, but it means that it's all I can do to get out of bed and actually try and eat.

I should probably call someone, maybe Grissom, but if I do that then I'll have to depend on them and trust them and that's something I can't do. Sure I trust all of them to do the right thing but if they knew everything about me won't they leave? I remember how someone once called me unlovable when I was younger and I guess in a way I believe them. After all I went through so many different homes that you would think that someone, anyone, would like me enough not to beat the hell out of me. That probably explains my abandonment issues.

But I really don't know what to do anymore. The flashbacks are worse now and I'm zoned out half the time. I know that it's dangerous for me to leave the apartment since I don't have all my thoughts in order but I'm really tired of looking at my bare walls.

Maybe I should just suck it up and ask for help. If no one can handle being around me once I'm back to normal then I can transfer so I guess the question is who do I call?

Grissom offered to listen but he's my boss. He doesn't have the best people skills either. I'll probably pour my heart out and tell him my life story and then he'll tell me all the scientific facts about everything I said.

Catherine is too motherly around me. I swear that lady can pamper someone to death if she is concerned enough. I'm not sure if I envy or pity Lindsey. No, I definitely can't call Cath, she'll get to worried and I'll never get her off my case.

I doubt Warrick would be a better choice. Sure he is a cool guy but we've never really clicked. We get along well enough but I don't see myself relying on him for much outside of work.

That leaves Nick and Sara. So do I call the person who thinks of me as a brother or do I call the girl who stole my heart when we met? Maybe both? No that is just asking for trouble, can't be outnumbered in a situation like this.

Nick would probably be the best choice. He is the only one who actually tried to get to know me originally and if I ever want to have a shot with Sara, though that is very wishful thinking, I probably don't need to make her think that I'm insane. I just hope Nick will understand that if I don't get help from someone then I'm going to snap.

Please let him understand. I don't think I could stand being shunned by anyone else in my life.

A/N: Thank you for the reviews and I apologize for the wait. My internet keeps messing up. I have some ideas on how I want to continue this story but if anyone has any suggestions I would be happy to hear them.


	5. Truths

I don't own any of these characters. This show is owned by people other than me though I do love the show.

Hidden Truths

Truths

'Please be there,' Greg silently prayed as he waited for Nick to answer his phone.

"Stokes," Nick greeted as Greg was about to hang up.

"Nick," Greg said as a relieved smile came to his face though he nearly winced as he noticed how shaky his voice was. "It's Greg."

"Everything ok, Greggo," Nick asked sounding worried. "I haven't seen you all week."

"That's actually why I called. I was hoping you could do me a favor. But you don't have to if you don't want to and I would understand if you didn't," he rambled nervously.

"What can I do," Nick asked determined to help.

"You're going to think I'm crazy," Greg started with a nervous laugh. "Hell I probably am crazy."

"What are you talking about," Nick asked now confused.

"Do you remember when I passed out at work?"

"How could I forget? Ya scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," Greg apologized quietly as he once again considered just forgetting this idea. "This was probably a bad idea. Maybe you should forget that I ever called."

"You are not getting out of this that easily. What's wrong? Does this have something to do with why you passed out," Nick asked once again sounding worried and determined.

After a pause Greg finally answered. "What do you know about me," he asked though he wasn't expecting much of an answer.

"What does that have to do with anything," Nick asked not seeing where Greg was going with this.

"Everything. What happened that day wasn't a reaction to stress, I was having a panic attack because of a flashback," he explained bluntly.

"A flashback? Of what," Nick asked feeling even more worried than he had only moments ago.

"My life," Greg laughed bitterly. "I never had a good childhood like people think I did. My life was practically hell until I started college and it's all starting to catch up to me."

"What do ya want me to do," Nick asked determinedly. He understood how things from someone's past could affect them later; he had his own experiences with that.

"I'm not sure. Maybe it would help if I just talked to someone."

"Tell you what, I'll call in tonight and I'll head on over," the cowboy suggested.

"You don't have to," Greg said not wanting to be a burden. "We can talk when you're not busy."

"Don't worry about it. I'll just tell Gris that I'm not feeling well but then again if I told him I was taking off to spend time with you he might give me the rest of the week off," Nick joked. "We've all been worried about you man."

"You have," Greg asked surprised.

"Of course we have," Nick said not understanding why Greg thought that fact was surprising. "I nearly came over a few times to check on you but I figured you were enjoying your vacation. Guess I was wrong," Nick admitted guiltily.

"I guess," Greg said quietly feeling guilty for doing this to his friend.

"I better go ahead and call Gris. I'll be over there in half an hour," Nick said.

"Ok see you then," Greg said before hanging up and curling up further on the couch.

He felt like he had just hung up the phone when he heard someone knocking on his door. Quickly he glanced at his clock and realized it had been over twenty minutes ago. 'That must be Nick,' he thought as he slowly and unsteadily made his way to his door.

"Hey," he greeted the older man with a smile as he held onto the door for support. "That was fast."

"God Greg, have you eaten anything this week," Nick asked worriedly as he caught sight of his friend. The weight loss was obvious since Greg was dressed in sweatpants that looked as if they were about to fall off of him and his old t-shirt didn't even touch him. He could see the outlines of Greg's collar bone and knew it was protruding more than was probably safe. He decided to ignore the scars that he could see but the sight of them freaked him out more than he cared to admit, especially the ones that circled Greg's wrist. 'How did I never see any of those,' he questioned himself guiltily.

"I've eaten plenty, I just can't keep much of it down," Greg admitted as he motioned Nick to come inside feeling surprised that his guest hadn't mentioned anything besides his weight loss.

As the pair made their way to the couch Nick grew even more concerned when he noticed how weak and unsteady Greg was. He had to fight the urge to just carry the younger man down to his car and take him to a hospital.

"Thanks for coming," Greg said with his smile still in place. He was the happiest he had been all week. Nick was just amazed that Greg seemed happy when he was obviously unwell.

"So what's going on man? You look like you haven't eaten in days, you can barely walk and why do you have so many scars," Nick asked as he let his curiosity get the better of him.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to ask about these," Greg said with a small laugh as he looked at one of his arms. "The truth is that the memories of how I got these scars are the things I see in flashbacks and my nightmares. I can barely sleep anymore and when I do I always wake up and get sick."

"How long has this been going on," Nick asked not sure he really wanted to know.

"The nightmares I've had all my life but everything else has started up over the past year," the lab rat admitted.

Nick only stared at him in shock as what Greg had said sank in. He couldn't believe that the person he considered a brother had actually been suffering alone with memories and he had never noticed. Slowly he looked down to Greg's exposed arm's, he could tell that some of them were defensive wounds and some were nothing short of torture but what really disturbed him was how some of the scars were obviously older than others and how some of the scar tissue was so thick in areas he would be surprised if Greg still had complete feeling in his arms.

"Please tell me that only your arms are scarred like that," Nick finally said.

"Actually the only part of me not scarred is my face and hands," Greg said surprisingly calm.

"What," Nick asked in disbelief as he tore his eyes from the scarred arms to Greg's face which seemed just as calm as his earlier statement.

"I wasn't kidding when I said my life had been hell," Greg said as though that explained everything.

"What happened? Who did this to you," Nick asked as he felt his protective side rise up.

Greg only laughed tiredly as he answered, "So many people. Why don't I just start from the beginning and then if you want to leave you can since I'm not sure you will want to stay friends with someone like me." Greg didn't even give Nick the chance to respond to his comment before he started his life's story starting with his parents and their death.

The story took a couple of hours to tell and by the time he was done Greg was exhausted but was feeling surprisingly relieved that someone knew. As for Nick, he only stared at his friend in shock as he tried to keep back the tears that threatened to fall.

'How did I never know any of this?! He is my best friend and I didn't even know his parents were dead let alone that he use to live on the streets,' Nick berated himself.

"So what now," Greg asked tiredly as he leaned his head against the couch and fought to keep his eyes open.

"I think the best thing to do is for you to get some sleep," Nick said, the shock was obvious in his tone.

"What about you," Greg asked curious.

"If it's ok with you I was hoping I could hang here for a while," Nick asked not feeling comfortable leaving Greg alone. He didn't want his friend to wake up from a nightmare and be alone again and after hearing everything Greg had gone through he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to leave the younger man unprotected or alone since he had never been anything but that.

"If you want but aren't you disgusted with me," Greg asked tiredly obviously not really knowing what he was saying anymore.

"What you went through wasn't your fault and there is no reason I would find you disgusting," Nick reassured him. "Now get some sleep and when you wake up we'll go get something to eat," he said with a smile.

"I would like that," Greg smiled as his eyes closed. "Thanks," he muttered as he fell asleep on the couch still curled up where he had been sitting.

"No problem Greggo," Nick said sadly as he looked at his friend.

Nick continued to watch his friend as he slept and to anyone who may have seen them, looked as if he were guarding him from anything that threatened him whether it was a person or nightmares. For the first time in a long time Greg slept and had no nightmares.

It had been a couple of days since Greg had told Nick about his life and he finally decided that he was ready to go back to work. He hadn't had any nightmares or flashbacks since their conversation and he was starting to put on some weight though he was still terribly thin and none of his clothes fit him anymore.

"Are ya sure you're ready for this," Nick asked the lab rat as they sat in his pickup outside of the lab. He had refuse to let Greg drive himself since Greg was still tired and Nick knew by the end of shift Greg would be a walking zombie or be so wired from his coffee that either way it wouldn't be safe for him to drive.

"Dude, if I stay in my apartment one more night with nothing to do then I am going to snap," Greg joked.

"You know you could just go out and relax," Nick suggested.

"To me being here is relaxing, for the most part," Greg stated. "Plus I really miss messing with Hodges' head. That guy is very entertaining if you push all of his buttons," he laughed.

"Well you are definitely acting more like your old self," Nick laughed. "You do know they are going to ask why you are so thin," Nick asked hoping the fact would be enough to deter Greg from going back to work.

"I'll tell them I've been sick," Greg shrugged. "Everyone looses weight when they get mono."

"Let me get this straight, you are going to tell Grissom and the others that you lost weight because you had mono, the kissing disease," Nick asked skeptically though he couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"You betcha," Greg laughed as he hopped out of the truck.

"He is defiantly feeling better," Nick said to himself as he too got out of the truck. By the time the pair had made it to the locker room Greg was talking nonstop about something funny he had read in a book and Nick was laughing uncontrollably at Greg's enthusiasm. It was moments like this that he couldn't help but wonder how Greg could always bounce back especially after everything he had been through.

"Looks like the clowns are back," Warrick said with a smile as he entered the locker room having been attracted by the nonstop laughter.

"Now Warrick, it's not fair that you call both of us clowns," Greg said with mock sternness. "I may act the fool but Nicky is the rodeo clown."

"Hey," Nick said pretending to be insulted as Warrick laughed.

"So where have you been for the past two weeks," Warrick asked as he sat on the bench next to the Texan. "And why are you so thin," he asked seriously as he took in Greg's appearance.

"I got mono," Greg lied, suppressing a smirk at the predictability of his friend.

Nick snorted as he tried not to laugh more. He didn't think Greg would actually use that excuse.

"The kissing disease," Warrick asked as a mischievous smile came to his face.

"Actually in my case it was the drinking after another person disease," Greg said with a laugh. "I'm going to strangle him next time I see him," Greg continued as he pretended to plot revenge.

"Whatever you say but I can't wait to see Sara's face when she hears you had mono," Warrick laughed.

"But I didn't do anything," Greg defended himself.

"Man you are going to get it now," Nick said as he watched the dread come to his youngest friends face.

"Dudes," Greg said seriously as he looked squarely at his two friends, "This is really going to suck."

A/N: I hope everyone likes how this is going. Please read and review. I'll try and update soon.


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